Some of the lies in the toxic Christianity world have pained me as I've grown up, wondering if God "actually believed that about me" even though it only brought anxiety, confusion, and death.
Below are five lies that I used to believe that God has shown me to be false. He has different plans for me and you than what toxic and legalistic Christianity have been teaching believers over the years.
1. Once you're a follower of Jesus, you will never sin again.
This is one of the lies that I have never believed, but always been shocked at how many people try to preach to other believers. Yes, we will continue to make mistakes even as Christians because it is not our own righteousness that perfects us. It is Jesus that refines us, and this has to be a daily thing that we have to submit to. If we ignore Jesus and go our own way, then we aren't preserving our righteousness on our own because we can do nothing apart from Jesus (John 15:5).
This isn't to shame anyone, but to remind you that we don't have it all together even as believers. We're no better than the person next to us, it is only Jesus that gives righteousness and separation from sin.
2. Treating others as more significant means that I have to settle for being a pushover.
This is one that I've wrestled with a lot and heard a wide range of answers on, but it's not true. Jesus doesn't tell us to delight in being a pushover and letting nothing change in a situation. Jesus calls us to forgiveness, and he calls us to leave the avenging to him, but the Bible talks a lot about staying away from bad company and toxic people or things.
There is a distinct line: Jesus loved the people that hurt him, didn't fight back at them, but kindly removed himself from situations that rejected him. He stood with honesty, boldness, and gentleness and love at the same time. Jesus also told his disciples to leave the cities that rejected them after they witnessed to them.
If you're being pushed over by people and think that because you're a Christian you can do nothing about it, that's a lie! First off, the greatest thing we can do is pray about it and leave it in God's hands because he will avenge us.
"Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, "Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord." -Romans 12:19
A lot of people get confused with verses like these, claiming that they have to sit in the toxic relationships with people around them, but God never told you to stay somewhere and sit in abusive/toxic/harmful relationships. The difference is that we forgive them and leave it to the Lord.
3. Christian women cannot be used by God as much as Christian men can be.
Got to admit, this is one lie I used to believe, sadly! If you are woman of God and you think that your work for the Lord isn't as important as the men's work around you, you are being lied to. God uses women as well as men in his work for furthering the kingdom and showing Jesus to others.
You might have a different call from God compared to the men (and women) around you, and it might seem "smaller" and "less significant" from your point of view, but everything we do for the Lord is worth it and valued by Him!
Women can absolutely be used by God in the ways He desires us to, and we can still share the gospel with the world! While God gave men leadership over churches and families, God still calls women to further his kingdom and shine the light of Jesus for others. You are just as important!
4. The Lord has a limited amount of forgiveness before giving up on me.
If you feel like God is waiting for your next failure to drop you out of the family, then you're believing a lie. The Bible was intentionally written for you by God, people sacrificed things (including their lives) to get the Bible out into the world, and people have spent years translating the words that are on your Bible app or on the book on your desk that tell you over and over that you have no condemnation in Christ Jesus (Romans 8:1), you are forgiven (1 John 1:9), and his love lasts forever, not until your next failure (Psalm 103:17).
Since we can't get into heaven on our own, we can't mess up our relationship with Jesus on our own by our sins and mistakes.
We should always ask for repentance and forgiveness and genuinely want to please the Lord, but we are still imperfect human beings on earth. This doesn't allow us to just use God as a forgiveness card but continue to live without him or believe in him at all. As a believer who feels like they wish they could be better and not need forgiveness as much, remember the grace and love God endlessly gives you.
Jesus is never going to leave you, and he knew that when he was on the cross.
5. Every calling for men looks the same, and every calling for women looks the same.
I see a lot of people commenting on how God's calling based on their gender is a specific, cookie-cutter life in order to please God, and that's just not right.
Here are some examples:
All women should be wives and moms
All men should be husbands and fathers
Women should only serve at home
All men should be in huge leadership positions like a speaker or a pastor
You have to settle down at a certain age
You have to have kids
God has a specific and unique plan for you. Don't let the world box you in its own cookie cutter life. While having a family is amazing, God still calls some of us to singleness and others cannot have children for multiple reasons.
As believers we shouldn't press our own plans on other believers like this. God wants us to have our focus firstly on him and his kingdom. Our status and relationships are not the most important thing in the world.
It's ok to be single and live for the Lord! It's ok if you can't have children or don't want to! It's ok to not settle down at a certain age that your society believes you should and be on mission for God! Everyone is different and God can still use people that don't fit the above descriptions to further his kingdom. He even says in his word that single people have even more of an opportunity to serve him (1 Corinthians 7:38).
Your story is unique to God, and only he has the authority to direct our every step in life.
Make sure to tune in to next week's blog post for a part two on lies vs. truth in Christianity! ✨
"For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to prosper you, and not harm you, plans for a future and a hope."
-Jeremiah 29:11
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